someone out there might know?

I’m not sure why I’m so worried or stressed about something I don’t even know the details about. I guess I’m worried that my doctor knows something and is just holding back. I went for my follow-up this morning, and when I explained a new rash, the nurse looked worried, and my doctor didn’t say much. They took five vials of blood and said that I should hear back from them next week.

They said that it could be a few different things, and the blood work is just done to eliminate the more obvious reason. It could be liver disease, rheumatoid arthritis or Still’s Disease; all of which do not sound pleasant. It would be nice to finally have it figured out what exactly I have rather than taking three pills a day just to get rid of the annoying itchiness. They also gave me prednisone to take for the next few days. I looked up the reason for taking it, and that didn’t help my stress.

I’m far from a hypochondriac; in fact, I think I’m the complete opposite. Whenever something is wrong, I just tell myself that it’ll go away soon, and I just won’t think much more of it. But today seems different. I’m just worried about it, but I just keep hoping for the best – that’s all I can do, right?

I just want to get this all figured out. I’m tired of taking medicine for something that I don’t know the cause of, especially when the medicines all make me so tired and loopy. If anyone actually reads this and wants to give me more info, feel free to comment; I need to know!

Thanks.

don’t stop believin’, hold on to that feelin’

It seems so silly to be attached to something that is so materialistic. Yesterday, my parents traded in our 1994 “dusty rose” Lexus ES300 — aka the “purple Lexus.” It’s great because this is the first time my dad has bought a new car for himself in a 20+ years. He deserves a great car. I’m just heartbroken that the Lexus is no longer in our possession. I was probably six-years-old when we first bought it. It made many trips with my parents, my brothers and myself from Coral Springs, Fla. to Orlando and the other way around. When I turned 16-years-old, it became my car. My very first car.

I drove it everywhere my junior and senior years of high school. Listening to “Don’t Stop Believin’” on repeat with my windows and sunroof open. It came with me to college, and it was so reliable. The nights of fitting seven or more people in it..probably not the safest thing, but it worked. It was THE purple Lexus, after all. I only had it for a semester in college, but it sure does carry a lot of memories from that first semester.

So, 16 years later, it’s gone. My Valdosta State University license plate is still on the front of it. Remnants from a Milton High School parking pass can still be found. Breaking the news to my friends about the end of an era was just as tough. I got many sad replies, but all because we can still hear ourselves singing (terribly, I might add) “Don’t Stop Believin’” at the top of our lungs. It’s going to take a bit of adjusting when my dad comes home and I don’t hear squeeky brakes. I’m going to miss seing the purple Lexus in the driveway.

Here’s to you, purple Lexus. Thank you for always being reliable, but most importantly…thank you for the memories. I hope your next owner will create his/her own memories.

the most wasted of all days is one without laughter – e.e. cummings

I’m pretty sure that if we could give office superlatives, I would be the “office clown,” because of my goofy dorkiness. I find humor in any situation, and I just think that life is too short to be serious. Don’t get me wrong, I know when it’s time to get to work and get things accomplished; I just think that if you can take a few moments out of your day to laugh, share a joke, or smile, your day will be a lot better.

I don’t goof off to be the center of attention. Truthfully, I hate being the center of attention. I act the way I do and I believe so strongly in optimism because maybe (and hopefully) I’m helping to make someone’s day a lot better. I think a day goes by quicker and becomes less stressful if you can take a minute to laugh. Why not?

Anyway, sorry to my dedicated readers (ha ha) for not updating in a little over a month. I’ve been slacking! I still adore my job, what I’m doing, who I work with, and my life in general. Nothing is certain, but everything right now seems to be perfect. Perfect to me, at least.

I owe all of the happiness to the people in my life. I’ve just come to realize that as you grow up, there are people in your life that guide you to a certain place, but it is up to you to let them go once you get there. There are just people who are meant to only be in a portion of your life, and there are others who will be by your side for the rest of your life. Be thankful for those in your life: past, present and future. Those who have helped you get to where you are today, those who are helping you survive everyday and to those to come. Learn to let go of unnecessary junk.

…and always remember to take a moment out of your day to laugh!

so hard to stay, too hard to leave it

How do you know that it is time to just let go? I guess deep down in your heart you know, but just how do you do it? I think the biggest problem for me is the fact that everything that I have in my possession, whether it be material or in my memory, is something that has made me who I am today, even if it was a bad memory.

I think that’s why I have such a hard time letting go. My room is full of random “junk,” but everything reminds me of something. I have photos from middle school decorating my wall. I have an old pair of jeans that I used to love that I think I might wear again someday. I have a snowman lightbulb that my friend gave me as a gift my junior year of high school. I have a book of nursery rhymes that I used to read, which I have absolutely no use for now. I have a lego collection that I asked back from my little cousins because it reminded me so much of my childhood when my brother and me would play for hours.

See? It’s a serious problem. It’s not just items like that, but I guess there are people in my life that I just need to let go. I just have to come to the realization that certain people come in your life for a reason, but they can leave just as quickly as they entered. He was my best friend at one point, but in a sense, it was almost a comfort title. Were we really best friends? Or was it just convenient? I’m doing pretty dang good, if you ask me, without much effort on his part to be in my life. So why do I think about it so much? Probably because in the same sense as my “junk,” I’m afraid that if I throw things away, those good memories will forever be gone.

So maybe I need to figure out how to be less of a pack rat and get my life going in a positive direction. I need to make room for newer, better memories! I think I owe that to my mind and especially to my heart.

the glass is half full

A few years ago, I was brainstorming ideas for a persuasive speech. I could have done the typical – gun control, abortion, global warming, etc. I wanted something that I could truly defend. I did a little research and decided to persuade my audience to be more optimistic. It’s better for your health, will allow you to do better in school, and it makes you a better you. As an optimist, you do realize that there are terrible things about there, but you choose to think that there will be positive outcomes from the negative. It’s different than being ignorant, because you would ignore the negatives altogether.

My mom watches Joel Osteen every Sunday morning. I’m not really sure why she does, or why I decide to watch it with her. This past Sunday’s sermon was interesting – it was titled “Be Glad Continually.” He quotes 1 Thessalonians 5:16, “Be happy in your faith, glad-hearted, continually and always.” It’s so simple – even during a severe rainstorm, the sun is hiding behind it shining so brightly just waiting to come out.

If you’re not willing to wait for it and accept that the hardships come with the positives, then you’ll never see the sunshine. He says, “When you lose your joy, you lose your strength.” Problems are inevitable in your life, so why dread them when they occur?

In my speech, one of my main points is when you begin thinking negatively, it takes time away from making the most of an awful situation. If you go to a test and you’re nervous and you tell yourself it’s going to be terrible, you don’t have the time to focus on the test. When you tell yourself that it’s going to be okay, then it will be just that. It’s cliché, and I know that, but the glass is half full.

Anyway, the point of this is that I’m starting to get stressed about this job situation. I’m not really happy with how these past four and a half months have gone, but I’m still optimistic. I know that there’s an opportunity hiding behind the storm clouds; I just need to take this time to really think through what I want to do – not just jump into the first thing that offers me a job. I’m still smiling, and I’m arranging my mind in the right direction. Let’s be hopeful for good things to come.

the boys are back in town

I can’t explain how excited I am that baseball season has officially kicked off. I always feel this way at the beginning of the season, then halfway through it, I can feel my heart shattered into a million pieces, and I wonder why I am so crazy over baseball. I’m not sure if it’s the weather, the fun days at the ballpark, or the sport altogether. I just love it. I become superstitious, and a sunflower seed addiction surfaces. I stayed glued to the television if I cannot physically be at the ballpark. If I’m not near a TV, I’ll turn on Gameday on mlb.com. It’s seriously a problem.

My team of choice, if you haven’t noticed, is the Atlanta Braves. I grew up watching the Florida Marlins, and they still have a large part of my heart. But since we moved to Atlanta almost 12 years ago, I guess I’ve grown to love the Braves. Okay, maybe I am a little obsessed, but we’ll keep that between you and me. It has gotten so bad that Sarah (my friend and Plans & Campaigns partner) chose the Atlanta Braves as our client and their All-You-Can-Eat Seats for our product. We spent the entire semester researching the product and devleping a campaign to increase awareness and sales for the product.

Last night was the season opener and the Phillies home opener. The Braves were the visiting team, and I was pumped. Brian McCann hit the first homer of the season, then Jeff Francoeur, then our new centerfielder, Jordan Schafer. It was a great sight to see that the off season really helped the Braves. I know, it was only the first game of the season, but it gives a fan a lot of hope. The 20 pounds B-Mac lost in the offseason, the new stance Frenchy took, and the new players Frank Wren decided to sign. Thank you, Frank Wren, for at least making one good decision in your career for the Braves: signing Derek Lowe. Eight scoreless innings for Lowe…amazing.

I must admit, I held my breath the entire time Mike Gonzalez was pitching. I love watching Gonzo pitch, but boy does he make me nervous. He did get the job done, and the Braves are now 1-0. I couldn’t sleep last night because I was so excited. They still have some communication problems (Kelly Johnson/Casey Kotchman and Kelly Johnson/Jeff Francoeur), but hopefully they’ll get all of that together.

Home opener is this Friday versus the Washington Nationals. I’m not sure why, but there is something about the Nationals that I absolutely loathe. Maybe the fact that the Braves were the only team in the NL East that couldn’t beat the Nationals, but whatever it is, I hope for a glorious game on Friday.

Until then, I’ll be tomahawk chopping. Go Braves!

the Internet killed the newspaper star

Google Adwords, a great tool to advertise your company/business on Google. I’m assisting Mike Hardesty at Hardesty Hackett & Partners with his public relations/marketing efforts, and I set up the account yesterday. It’s a trial-and-error process to determine which keywords work, how much we’re willing to bid on a first page ad placement, and if the clicks actually lead to contact. Of course, if you’re like me, you’ll get curious and click on the ads. I used to be weary of those ads, but it clearly works for those companies.

The purpose is to find the keywords that will actually get Google’d and will eventually lead to the clicker to contact your company with more information. For example, if you are a doctor that specializes in sinuses, then you’ll want to attract new patients. How do you do that? Get on Google, set up the account, and maybe use the keywords “Sinus Infection”. If it’s a popular keyword, then you must place a higher bid to get your ad placed on the first page of the Google search, because let’s get real, who is going to open the fifth of sixth page to find a solution to their sinus pains?

We just launched the campaign yesterday, so let’s hope it will lead to positive results.

I love being able to play on the Internet and find ways to promote a company. Unfortunately, the Internet killed the newspaper star. It’s a sad concept to grasp, but that seems to be the trend. Slowly, people are getting their news from online subscriptions and free articles. You don’t look in the newpaper’s classified section anymore. For that, there’s CraigsList, and the thousands of other Web sites with free listings. The Internet is just easier. It does the work for you. Typing in one keyword, and Google knows exactly what you’re looking for.

It’s scary, but it’s 2009.